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'My Girls' and their girls!

Tomorrow is full of laughter. I say this- because I know what happens when old girlfriends get together and then you add their daughters! This will be the first time that this group of 3 old high school friends and 4 daughters get together. Triplets and a 9 month old at the zoo!
I am so thrilled.
I will dream of when my daughter will be here. The 3 high school amigos and a clan of little darlings!!!!!
I know there will be much talk of this tomorrow. I love my friends. These girls so dear to my heart- my past, present and future. Two special people who offered to write letters of reference for my adoption.
Tomorrow will be full of laughter...just what I need!

6 months of Waiting and saying Goodbye.

I do not like goodbyes. At all. Tomorrow I am driving my best friend down to Texas to fly away to another continent to live. My heart grows selfish with some thoughts....the thoughts of me not being able to share my referral day experience with her, missing her face at the airport when I bring my darling home, missing her expertise as I will be a first-time Momma figuring a lot out on my own. She will not get to meet my daughter and her little children will not get to grow up with her. All the things we have dreamed of together in the past almost 2 years since I started discussing adoption.
I am guessing this is selfish. I am happy for her and excited for her, but her loss will be very evident on Wednesday. There will be a emptiness there. I took for granted the accessibility I had to her. How I could talk to her or see her whenever I wanted.
I prayed and prayed for my referral before she left. She helped me with my paperwork questions and also wrote a letter of reference which had a huge impact on how my Home Study agency and adoption agency viewed me to allow for me to proceed.
On top of everything else, today marks my 6 months of waiting. When I joined the list in September, I was told that there was never a family that waited longer than right around 6 months. I am not complaining as I am very close. I know that the family list with our agency has grown and for that I should be thrilled. So many families willing to open their lives to adopting! There has been a lot happening in-country too in Ethiopia and my life has been on one huge roller coaster lately. I am a fan of only the Ups of the ride.......but I know that is not realistic in this world. I am trying to keep my chin up this week.

28 hours till my 6 months of Waiting mark

In a little over 28 hours, I will be at 6 months of waiting. So much has happened in the past 6 months and the last 3 months have flown. Praying it will be soon...very soon...Going out of town in the next few days--things tend to happen on the Wait List when I go out of town!!! So come on #1!!!!!!!!!!!!

We CAN do it!!!!!!!!

Just as I breathed a sigh of relief yesterday, a new change came into action today. Out of the blue.
I cried- for a long long time.
Then I stopped and realized that crying will not change it.
Time to dust off my boots and keep on walking. I had gotten comfortable in my process and now a challenge lies ahead.
I can do this. I can do this. I may end up going alone, but I can do this.
It reminds me a lot of the Toto Africa lyrics "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do."

Focusing on the positives:
My daughter will now be a US Citizen when she arrives home.
I will get to see my daughter approximately 8 weeks after referral.
If I travel alone, I have flown to Ethiopia before- I can do it again.
I will not be the only family there at that time.
I will realize in the end just how strong I can be.

It will be hard to meet her and then leave........ But I will get to see her very soon!!!!!!!!!!!

"Breathe. Don't Push."

As some of you know, I really enjoy getting on Facebook and forgetting the world for a while as I view others joys and frustrations that are shown to the world in a little thing we like to call a "Status Update"!

Today mine read:
"I'm getting closer to 6 months of waiting and I'm dying to know something! Anything! =) Oh dear........."

The way we all give our advice or thoughts is to "Like" a status or "Comment".
I just checked my profile and received this piece of advice under my status:

"Breathe. Don't push."

It really tickled me. How appropriate. It has so many meanings.
It means I am close to referral but not quite ready to "push".
It means I am close to referral and need to remember to breathe before I "push".

Those are obvious.
But, it had special meaning to me today. I have been dying to know something. To "push" to get the information perhaps before I am ready to know anything. To "breathe" and rest before it is actually time for my referral labor!

Because then a whole new type of wait and desire to know information (scheduling of court date, passing court, Embassy Date confirmation) are on the way!

I loved this advice. I am trying to absorb it as much as possible and for as long as I can!!! I am trying a whole new level of patience that I have never attempted before!

Mother's Day.....

Might I be a Mother this year on Mother's Day???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!