Journey on...

MY BLOG HAS MOVED!

2010-03-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

Follow me at:
www.fortheloveofkate.blogspot.com

'My Girls' and their girls!

2010-03-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is full of laughter. I say this- because I know what happens when old girlfriends get together and then you add their daughters! This will be the first time that this group of 3 old high school friends and 4 daughters get together. Triplets and a 9 month old at the zoo!
I am so thrilled.
I will dream of when my daughter will be here. The 3 high school amigos and a clan of little darlings!!!!!
I know there will be much talk of this tomorrow. I love my friends. These girls so dear to my heart- my past, present and future. Two special people who offered to write letters of reference for my adoption.
Tomorrow will be full of laughter...just what I need!

6 months of Waiting and saying Goodbye.

2010-03-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

I do not like goodbyes. At all. Tomorrow I am driving my best friend down to Texas to fly away to another continent to live. My heart grows selfish with some thoughts....the thoughts of me not being able to share my referral day experience with her, missing her face at the airport when I bring my darling home, missing her expertise as I will be a first-time Momma figuring a lot out on my own. She will not get to meet my daughter and her little children will not get to grow up with her. All the things we have dreamed of together in the past almost 2 years since I started discussing adoption.
I am guessing this is selfish. I am happy for her and excited for her, but her loss will be very evident on Wednesday. There will be a emptiness there. I took for granted the accessibility I had to her. How I could talk to her or see her whenever I wanted.
I prayed and prayed for my referral before she left. She helped me with my paperwork questions and also wrote a letter of reference which had a huge impact on how my Home Study agency and adoption agency viewed me to allow for me to proceed.
On top of everything else, today marks my 6 months of waiting. When I joined the list in September, I was told that there was never a family that waited longer than right around 6 months. I am not complaining as I am very close. I know that the family list with our agency has grown and for that I should be thrilled. So many families willing to open their lives to adopting! There has been a lot happening in-country too in Ethiopia and my life has been on one huge roller coaster lately. I am a fan of only the Ups of the ride.......but I know that is not realistic in this world. I am trying to keep my chin up this week.

28 hours till my 6 months of Waiting mark

2010-03-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

In a little over 28 hours, I will be at 6 months of waiting. So much has happened in the past 6 months and the last 3 months have flown. Praying it will be soon...very soon...Going out of town in the next few days--things tend to happen on the Wait List when I go out of town!!! So come on #1!!!!!!!!!!!!

We CAN do it!!!!!!!!

2010-03-10T17:46:00.000-08:00

Just as I breathed a sigh of relief yesterday, a new change came into action today. Out of the blue.
I cried- for a long long time.
Then I stopped and realized that crying will not change it.
Time to dust off my boots and keep on walking. I had gotten comfortable in my process and now a challenge lies ahead.
I can do this. I can do this. I may end up going alone, but I can do this.
It reminds me a lot of the Toto Africa lyrics "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do."

Focusing on the positives:
My daughter will now be a US Citizen when she arrives home.
I will get to see my daughter approximately 8 weeks after referral.
If I travel alone, I have flown to Ethiopia before- I can do it again.
I will not be the only family there at that time.
I will realize in the end just how strong I can be.

It will be hard to meet her and then leave........ But I will get to see her very soon!!!!!!!!!!!

"Breathe. Don't Push."

2010-03-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I really enjoy getting on Facebook and forgetting the world for a while as I view others joys and frustrations that are shown to the world in a little thing we like to call a "Status Update"!

Today mine read:
"I'm getting closer to 6 months of waiting and I'm dying to know something! Anything! =) Oh dear........."

The way we all give our advice or thoughts is to "Like" a status or "Comment".
I just checked my profile and received this piece of advice under my status:

"Breathe. Don't push."

It really tickled me. How appropriate. It has so many meanings.
It means I am close to referral but not quite ready to "push".
It means I am close to referral and need to remember to breathe before I "push".

Those are obvious.
But, it had special meaning to me today. I have been dying to know something. To "push" to get the information perhaps before I am ready to know anything. To "breathe" and rest before it is actually time for my referral labor!

Because then a whole new type of wait and desire to know information (scheduling of court date, passing court, Embassy Date confirmation) are on the way!

I loved this advice. I am trying to absorb it as much as possible and for as long as I can!!! I am trying a whole new level of patience that I have never attempted before!

Mother's Day.....

2010-03-03T11:57:00.001-08:00

Might I be a Mother this year on Mother's Day???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For as long as it takes you...

2010-02-25T20:07:00.000-08:00

For as long as it takes you....
I will wait.

For you will have her for a precious moment in time~
Compared to a life I will see.

God bless you sweet mother of my child.
May you have gentle peace that surpasses all of our understanding.

You are my hero!
You are part of my daughter's heart.

Needing a break

2010-02-22T18:35:00.000-08:00

I need to learn how to take a break, but I am not sure I know how to. A moment to let my mind rest. A moment that my adoption is not circulating behind the current thought in the forefront of my mind. A few hours without the up most desire to see her face. The longing to stare at her photo and dream of bringing her into my life.

I just do not know how and it is getting so hard.

All in His timing.....

Number 3......okay remember to breathe!

2010-02-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

I have found that each and every time I have gone out of town in the last 5 months- I have moved up on the Wait List!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning, at my friend's house, I randomly decided to check the Wait List blogspot from my agency. At 930am?? They never post that early. I do not know what got into me. And there it was and I quickly ran to bring my friend Joy to the computer. I can barely type now- I am so super excited!!! Note to self: GET OUT OF TOWN AND FREE YOUR MIND!!!!!!! I just may move up to number 1 haha!!!

Lyrics that have new meaning

2010-02-12T13:31:00.001-08:00

For some reason (like many people), I may not be able to recall what I read in a book verbatim; however, give me a song and I can recall every word. While driving the other day, a familiar cross-over country band song came on. I was not even focusing on the words or even on the song as I quietly sang along in my car. And then the chorus started and tears came to my eyes. This song by Lonestar had such a new meaning to me while I am waiting on my daughter and during her wait in her orphanage.

Lonestar "I'm Already There"

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there

Love you sweet girl,
Mommy

Heroes in Haiti

2010-01-22T20:45:00.000-08:00

www.thatschurch.com
This orphanage was brought to my attention by a fellow adopting family. I am thrilled that the young women (sisters Jamie & Ali McMutrie) who ran the orphanage and the children are safe in the United States. This blog has followed their heroism since the tragedy in Haiti. God bless them. God bless those in Haiti who still need so much!

Is this happening? #7 is heaven!!!

2010-01-13T19:49:00.000-08:00

I feel the urge to pinch myself! I have been very antsy today. First, I saw the wait list moved up once and got excited. I then came home to emails letting me know I had moved up twice. TWICE!? In one day??!! I only moved one time in 2 months and now all this movement has actually gotten me kinda confused. Having a hard time keeping up.
NOT COMPLAINING!!!!

I am happy.

I feel disorganized!

I am elated....

I know I will move up again soon...I feel it.

Being single, I thought that I would be in for quite some challenge and difficulty. It has proved completely the opposite. I have a wonderful support group in the other single mommies in my agency. At the end of the day, I love to check my emails and know that I am not entirely alone. Right now the emails consist of court dates and referrals. By the end of the year, the emails will consist of the joys of motherhood! I know that we will all have our children home this year. I am going to be a Mom this year. Maybe by Mother's Day!?!

Mom.

Mom? Yes, a Mother!!!
I am still in unbelief that this is happening. That God lead me to this agency. That God gave me a great and uplifting group of women to get to know. That my daughter is on the other side of the world. That I will once again be heading to Africa soon. That people will speak on my behalf at a Court Hearing to determine everything is in order for me to be my daughter's mother. That there are people out there who care so much for orphans that they take care of our children before we do...day and night. They rock our babies. Play ball with the older kids....teach lessons....and prayers and customs. The men and women who work for my daughter's orphanage dedicate their life to enabling innocent children to have a home. I know that it must be hard for them. I know they love on all of these children and I am sure that it is bittersweet when they do go home to their forever families! I do not think I will ever be able to properly thank those who will be caring for my daughter until I arrive. What a awesome part they have in the life of my daughter!!!
I feel like I am getting closer and closer to my sweet girl.
Ready to be "Mommy"!

#9 sure feels fine!

2010-01-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

I am loving the single digits! I do not know what else to type??!! One would think that once I hit this milestone I would be so happy that I would have tons to say! I just can NOT wait to see her face...in His perfect timing.....

Number 10 and counting!

2009-12-28T19:10:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken shortly before landing in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in November 2009.
After returning from Africa in November, this is the first time I have moved on the list. The country of Malawi had such an impact on me that I was silent for a long time after returning home. I struggled with the desire to share all that I saw verses the desire to keep it close to my heart. To be public or personal was constantly a question and finally personal won.
However, I am now starting to want to share some of what I learned... a small glimpse of what I saw.
I returned from Africa during Thanksgiving week and came right back into the commercialism of Black Friday. This was hard. I saw tiny homes of concrete floors where up to ten people slept and when I returned I saw images of people fighting over televisions. It did not seem right and I was let down by society here in a big way. My view was changed, but not long before my plane landed in Malawi I was just as much a part of our culture as many others...
I am much different now and I truly thank God for that. I can not get the images out of my head of the children. The children very happily playing with sticks and fighting over each other for the food we gave out. No, those images are stuck with me. I yearn to go back. Every time I see people arguing over something so very small or valuing material possessions as a way to increase their worth- I want to go back and learn more from the people in Malawi.
I am blessed to now be number 10 on the Wait List and one step closer to returning to Africa to bring home my daughter. A little person that I am sure will teach me lessons every single day.....

Moved up to my favorite number!

2009-11-09T14:37:00.000-08:00

My favorite number is 11...not sure why, no real significance. So, I am very happy today to move up to #11. Yay! Short post..but very happy!

7 months ago today.....

2009-11-06T07:26:00.000-08:00

7 months ago I made a decision that has completely altered my entire existence and I am so glad that I did.
I am now finding ways to preoccupy my mind as I wait for my daughter.
Wow- "As I wait for my daughter."
What a beautiful life I have been given!!!
Never thought I would be saying those words out of my mouth.
It is truly an honor!
Love you sweet angel!!!!!!!!!
~Mommy

Almost 2 months... 51 days to be exact.

2009-11-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

I am so up and down and back and forth on the subject of waiting. As of today, I am somewhat down. I was told to expect to be on the Wait List 4 to 5 months. I started at #15 and have only moved up 3 spots in 51 days~ almost 2 months. 15 spots in 5 months equals roughly 3 jumps a month. It is hard to explain to others.......
I can not believe I have almost been waiting for 2 months.....
If you read earlier posts, I had a much clearer and happier perspective on waiting.
Today, I just feel somewhat bummed.
Any thoughts, suggestions, pick-me-up's?
All would be helpful?
Help snap me out of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To the beautiful people 8,035 miles away......

2009-10-28T22:33:00.000-07:00

To the beautiful people 8,035 miles away,

I am thankful.

Whatever the distance from our homes to the temporary homes that house our soon-to-be sons and daughters, it is a distance that can not be truly understood unless one can actually walk in another person's shoes.

Or in this case, lack thereof.

I have never been to the place my daughter is. I have seen pictures. I have yet to look into the eyes of the dear beautiful people of Ethiopia. The images of their faces are anything but just 'random' images on a computer screen. They are real. Their sorrow is real. Their joys are real.

It saddens me to read people's negative opinions of a place and of its people that they have never seen face to face.

I thank Ethiopia in my own thoughts every day. To those beautiful individuals who are in charge of my paperwork~ I say thank you! My papers do not have to be there, but for the grace of the government, they ARE there. This is not small to me. I could very well not be doing this. It is not to take for granted. It is not as if it is a given right for me to adopt from Ethiopia.

It is a gift.

Hallelujah!!!!!

2009-10-23T16:30:00.001-07:00

I received my 171-H today in the mail!!!!!!!!!!!! I can bring my little one home when she is ready!!! I can breathe!!!

Another step closer!

2009-10-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Maybe I need to get out of town on rainy days more often! This makes the second time in a row I have found out that I have moved up on the Wait List from my fellow adoptive mommy when I happened to be out of town and it's been a rainy dreary day. What a way to brighten the day!!!

A new way of thinking...

2009-10-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

I feel lately as if I have been selfish.
Very selfish.
When it comes right down to it, this adoption is not about me. It is not about me at all. That being said, I feel as if I have been too wrapped up in the quickness of everything. I am the type of person that wants everything- yesterday. I am not patient.

But the truth is the simple fact that another family is involved in this adoption. I feel that I have not kept their feelings in mind as much as I should have been lately...
I have started a new way of thinking. Something that I will remind myself of daily is that once my daughter comes home~ she will be part of my life forever. There is a good chance that she may never know her birth mom and dad. There is a good chance I may never know of her parents.

However, her parents will know of her.

I should always respect this and keep this in the foremost part of my thinking during the waiting time. Her birth mom needs time with her. And that is what I am waiting for. I am waiting for a mother, father or both to decide to let go of their daughter. I can not imagine how that must feel. So my time of waiting is giving them time to make peace and time for her also to be born. She needs time with her birth family too.

As long as it takes them~ I will try to focus on them and be patient. I will undoubtedly still celebrate each time I move up on the Wait List. However, now I will have a new perspective and will be thinking of my daughter's birth mother each time I move up. I will know that it is truly a sacrifice on her part to give me the honor to raise her daughter....

This is my new way of thinking.. and I know it will ease my waiting.

Blessed Mom-to-be!

2009-10-17T06:03:00.000-07:00

We moved up yesterday (UNOFFICIALLY)10/16/09 to lucky number 13!!!

I feel like I am drifting......

2009-10-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

Well the good news this week is that all of my papers reached Ethiopia exactly 6 months to the day that I found my adoption agency. Wow!!!!! What a life changing 6 months it has already been. I feel like adoption has made me view almost everything differently. And as much as that has been a very positive thing, it has also been somewhat of a trying time. It has almost been a month since I was blessed to be part of the waiting list, and I have moved up only one spot. At first glance, I am sure this seems somewhat ungrateful. I know that I should be beyond thrilled to be at this spot. However, when I mentioned that adoption had also changed my life in a trying way...this is that part. I feel as if I see the shore (albeit it is miles away) and that I am drifting and not moving closer at the speed I would prefer. I know things must speed up eventually because if things continue to only drift along like this~ then I have calculated that I will not get a referral for over a year. I was hoping to move up at least 3 spots a month....... I want to see my daughter's face so bad that I can not barely stand it and every week that passes with no movement seems like a lifetime. Does anyone else feel this dramatic???

6 months ago today

2009-10-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have to say that I love the story that lead me to my adoption agency. While 6 months and a day ago- I would not have said that...
I have saved the email that I received from one of the adoption coordinators 6 months ago today. Things cleared up and my heart was ready to start the adoption process. Being single comes with a few barriers in adoption, but on that day~ I felt I had none. Ethiopia was once again in my heart and in my soul. I recall thinking what a long journey I had ahead of me and to some point I still feel that way. I feel I have accomplished so many things in such a short (but long) amount of time. A different type of waiting has begun 3 weeks ago and I am starting to truly agree with those before me that warned me about this part of the process. I never understood it until now. I thought once I got on the waiting list that I would relax and just 'sit back' as I was finished with all the paperwork. Not so much.... It has become a daily obsession to stalk to wait list and then to feel slightly let down after 530pm- knowing if nothing was posted yet- that nothing will be. "Tomorrow is always another day." And as I do realize that I am still only #14, I am also totally ready to see my adoptive friends move up on the lists as well.... I am currently awaiting to see if my paperwork (that was not so long ago strewn around my home) has made it's long way to Ethiopia somewhere. The thought of that is mind-boggling. That my life on paper is in Ethiopia. Wow....

Our first BIG move!

2009-10-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

Today, I made my first official move on the Wait List after joining. Number 1 family on the baby girl list accepted a referral today. So happy for them! Me and my daughter are now sweet number 14!!

I joined the Wait List today!

2009-09-15T15:08:00.000-07:00

I am actually speechless today! For those who really know me, that is a change!! Found out that I am lucky number 15 and could not be happier or feel more blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year 2002 and Grace!

2009-09-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

It is 2002 officially in Ethiopia! Wow does not even begin to cover it. I feel like I have been living in such a bubble having no idea that in other parts of the world it is not 2009. I feel like I have been celebrating myself as well today- although it is not comforting to celebrate on a day so many other people mourn. I have spent the day with emotions going up and down and back up again. After some missing paperwork discovery- thank you SARA- I have oddly relaxed. A brief call to my coordinator and a late after-hours email has certainly aligned my thoughts once again towards the positive. This IS happening. If the mail cooperates, I hope to be over-nighting all of my documents with a much cheaper pricetag- once again thank you SARA and Ruthanne!!!- on MONDAY! I thought I was certainly going to be on the golden WL this week- however God had other plans for me.....so I am a little hesitant to 'call' things toooo soon! Thank you to my wonderful friends Jocelyn, Ruthanne and Sara for putting up with my emails this afternoon..... I guess I should have known this would happen.... I am ALWAYS the last to know!!! God certainly showed His grace today. I almost paid way too much plus had a missing paper on top of it all! Oh the paper chase! haha! Praying to post on Tuesday with some GOOD news!

Soon??!!!

2009-09-10T20:30:00.000-07:00

I finally got the nerve to contact my homestudy agency to inquire on the where-a-bouts of my home study that I am awaiting in the mail. Once I receive it, then I take it along with my Dossier for certification, then overnight mail and the WAIT LIST!! Yay!!!
Well, I was told today that they were mailing my homestudy to me late in a drop-off in OK.
Certainly this means I will receive it this weekend or early next week! I can NOT believe I may ACTUALLY go on the Wait List next week. It seems unfathomable- honestly, as I have dreamed of this every day for over a year now!!! I once started with another agency and now found the place where I am meant to be. It has been emotional and after a year.....it seems like I may have to pinch myself next week.
I have never wanted a week of time to fly by more than now!!!!

I am over-joyed!

Psalm 68:6 and Blessings

2009-09-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

"God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell." ~Psalm 68:6. As I ponder this verse tonight, it gives me comfort for two reasons. Not only do I automatically think of adoption when reading this verse, I also think of my extended family.

The wonderful people God has placed in my life to help guide me along the way and to make it not such a solitary journey. My friends, co-workers, and fellow adopting families (in which I have never met face to face) keep me going and challenge me daily.

You can not put a price on encouragement. Just hearing some one say, "Hang in there!" can make all the difference. It seems small- but to someone adopting- it is exactly what is needed to be heard.

"Hang in there!" All my fellow adopting families! We are making progress in this beautiful part of our lives.

I am blessed to have found the other single adoptive mommies with our agency and they also give me encouragement. I feel that every step forward for each of us is cause to celebrate for each other. I am amazed at how thrilled I am to see others finally make the "Wait List", move up on the list, have referrals and court dates.....etc.....
This truly is a special bond and tonight I pray a special prayer for all the families adopting through my agency for strength, courage, and insight at each and every step toward your precious children.

5 months ago today....

2009-09-06T15:21:00.001-07:00

5 months ago today was a beautiful day. A confusing day. A turning point. A simple email to an adoption agency was met with a quick response and what I wanted to hear for the 5 months prior to that. "Yes, our agency allows single women to adopt from Ethiopia." I could type on and on about how reading that statement made me feel. It is a long story including all that happened to me the year prior. I had found an adoption agency ~only gotten as far as the application~ and then the agency closed to singles. I was lead to believe something else. So as one could imagine- finding out that Ethiopia did not change it's laws (only the agency and several others)- made me happy and confused. From November until April, I believed I did not have the chance to adopt from Ethiopia. Being single is really limiting in the world of adopting- some countries you can be single; however, have to be at least 35, etc.... I remember calling my best friend and my mom with this news. Could this be real? I spent the night looking closely at the agency website and within 2 weeks sent off my application. It was a miracle day for me. It was hope for me. It was the day I felt alive again. Adoption never left my mind and never left my heart. Guess I just needed to come to the right place. The other agency was not meant for me~ it was not going to lead me to my daughter. This is the place that will find her and I am beyond blessed for this agency leading me in the right direction!

Yay!!!!!

2009-09-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am not a good blogger. I neglect posting and have no pictures on here......It is all very confusing- however, every once in a while I feel the need to type! I found out Monday via email that both of my agencies have approved my home study. I was so thrilled. Then I thought- "Wait a minute. It is done? They do not need anything else? Certainly I am not through?" It took a long time to for that to sink in. Then I remembered the stack of Dossier papers nicely sorted in my filing cabinet and thought "Oh, yes! Those need to go!!!!!" I am so ready to get the papers off my mind. I am currently waiting to get a official copy of my homestudy in the mail and then I send all my stacks of paperwork off. (Overnighted). And then hopefully await the call that says "Congrats! You are officially on the Wait List. Ahhhh It is coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ready for some sort of news.....

2009-08-18T02:35:00.000-07:00

I added my pic of one of my favorite pieces of art in my home to the front of my page for inspiration. I feel like I have been one big ol mopey version of myself lately. I can not stand not knowing what is going on with my homestudy- but it is all part of it I suppose. Is it still here, is it in Tulsa? I know it is not on it's way to Colorado- though one can dream right? I am more than ready to get this party started. And I mean that- parties will be had if I ever get on the wait list! I work odd hours so I am up all night then sleep all day and check my emails and voicemails and when I have nothing- I get bummed..... I do not feel like myself lately. This decision to be positive as I wait to get on a wait list is SO small in comparison to the decision my future daughter's birth mother has to make to give her away to a stranger. I try to remember this and then the selfish thoughts come back and the impatience grows. This has all just begun!

The Home Study

2009-07-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

I can now breathe again. I forgot how a normal breathing pattern and heart rate was supposed to feel I think. The day has ended and my home study is done. All done. I have one paper to sign (that was never mailed) which means a brief office visit next Monday. Then DONE done! D-O-N-E! It was not exactly painless- but it is over.
Stumbling over a few answers to hard questions....I was given some homework to accomplish.
READ! Even though I had already planned to do this during my waiting trimester- that was my assignment. I have to admit- I figured these type of questions may arise- just not THESE questions of racial awareness.
I am glad my visit went well and it certainly opened my eyes on how much I have left to learn! Okay- if I can just get these Dossier papers all corrected then I will be cooking with gas!

Dossier complete! Dossier Complete?!!!?!

2009-07-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

It seems like forever, but it has indeed come sooner than later! I have gotten my last document for my Dossier and now I have to figure out how to go get it certified with the raised seal of Ark on it! I am so pleased, relieved and happy. Now that I have been stalking usps.com track and confirm, my home study agency still has not received my papers in the mail. It has been 2 days...just 2 days...and I am anxious to get my call to start my homestudy. This is overwhelming and exciting. Focusing on work now and getting my new place in order. How does one human being have so much stuff? Why can I not part with clothes I no longer fit- just in case I loose enough weight? Why do I hold on to so much stuff? But then when I look at it, it is not that much stuff really! Just wait until little darlin' gets here! Laugh! In the midst of organizing and staying up all hours of the night due to my work schedule change, things have been certainly different. Planning on working on my online parent training! What a hoot! I can not believe I am about to take a PARENTING class tonight! What a new beginning!....

Papers stack so high!

2009-07-06T16:26:00.001-07:00

3 full sets of copies of this....5 sets of that....My goodness. My stacks are getting thicker and planning on mailing off my Home Study documents tomorrow. It is a great feeling....a very official move. No going back, not that I want to. I sit here amongst tons of unpacked boxes from my move a few days ago. I feel overwhelmed by the changes of the move and in my work schedule. It is all for a purpose and I am totally focused on that. I will be thrilled to mail off my letters tomorrow and am so relieved the paperwork trail is almost over. As I continue to work on my Dossier, I only lack one tiny little bank letter....that has been being 'worked on' for over 7 weeks. So annoying! But trying to realize that maybe the delay is for a purpose and so in that I relax. It will certainly be a long night of unpacking....It is funny that my adopted daughter's room is in order and the rest of the place is a messy zoo! Priorities you know!

Oh, look what the Lord hath done for me!

2009-06-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

God's grace has fallen upon my life today out of the blue! But isn't that how it usually happens?! I have been silently worried about my living situation not being adequate enough in Ethiopia's eyes once my home study gets approved. I have been planning on moving, but not for a while. Then all of a sudden the words "You probably need to move soon" pierced through my ears. But, God has provided me with a new place to live. I saw it today and it is beyond perfect. It will be the perfect little 'nest' for me and my daughter! I move in 2 weeks and can set up my home study evaluation without a single worry under the sun. I feel beyond blessed. I feel that this may all actually be happening for real. God always promises that he may not move quickly, but that which He does provide will not be late by a single day! God is so good!

It's going to take alot to drag me away from you!

2009-06-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

Just when I started to see the finish line of my first trimester of paper-pregnancy- I now can not believe I have met a hurdle. I have to move...soon! I have no good options right now! I am anxious to get my home study started and have to figure this out first. It is totally in God's hands...I have no control. Jump and the net will appear!! I must remember this! I can not wait until I see how God comes through to find me the perfect home "nest" for me and my daughter!

"Your in my heart. Your in my soul."

2009-05-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day! I feel I have been truly blessed!!!! I feel God has let me know that everything will be alright!

Moving quickly!

2009-05-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

So far, so good. My paperwork is moving smoothly; however, as all adoptive parents would agree, it will never move fast enough. I needs to move at a 'slower than I desire' pace for a reason. All mom's wait 9 months during their pregnancy for a purpose. They NEED 9 months to prepare and plan and so do I. I am 'official' now with my agency and am awaiting a scheduled homestudy. The BIG Dossier forms are coming in the mail soon and I could not be happier!!!! I am happy in my planning stage...working hard like a mother bird preparing her nest. Work has become a focus and I am working as much as my job will let me! Like I said, so far....so GOOD!

On Monday 4/6/09 @6:15pm my life changed...

2009-04-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Life sometimes brings a shock to the system. 8 months ago, In August '08, I started my adoption process and it came to what I thought was a ' dead end' on November 11, 2008 at 1222pm. I have always believed that God works in beautiful and mysterious ways. Looking back, at the time this happened, I knew God stopped my adoption. I did not know why, but just knew there was a purpose. Without giving much detail, I was basically let go from my adoption agency at the time (on National Adoption Day no less) due to a 'country law change'. Granted I had only gotten as far as the initial application process- but I still felt involved. 5 LONG months later, I found out from my current adoption agency that the laws never changed. I found this out via email on Monday 4/6/09 at 6:15pm to be exact. Stunned, shocked and tearful...I IMMEDIATELY started working with my agency and have NEVER looked back! I am blessed beyond measure in my eyes and heart. For 5 months, I believed that I had no hope to adopt or choice for that matter. When in all reality, it was a part of me all along.........

Ethiopia......stole my heart

2009-03-24T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog and I am having difficulty with figuring out this blog stuff.
I am passionate about adopting from Africa. My journey started in Ethiopia and came to a dead end stop in November when country laws changed. I am just now re-thinking my options. I do not want to give up, that I know for sure!